remember

Sometimes you just need to remember...

 

what it felt like the first time you saw it. 

 how much little Haitian girls love butter. 

 how refreshing it is to face your fears. 

 how numb your legs were...and how little you cared.

how important it is to have fun.

what a sweet reunion can do for the soul.

that a new calling is waiting. 

that life is a gift. 

that you are not alone.

and that God's will and timing are perfect. Even when we are not. I am not perfect. I have not gotten this right. HE has. He can and will still use me.

Doing some remembering, gaining some perspective, kneeling low and praying hard.

"I want to repeat one word for you:
Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.

 -Donald Miller

going home

Sometimes life is taken before we think it should be. It is hard to understand God's plan. Somehow though, we do refocus. We remember that we have a purpose. God has given us a path. Chris had a path and when he went home to Jesus Friday night he heard "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Rest in Peace Chris.

pruning

The month of April was the beginning of what is shaping up to be a long season of pruning. God wants to pull up weeds and I'm using the little strength I have to hold on for dear life.

My feeble mind could not wrap itself around what was happening or how my heart felt until I found this blog post: http://blog.lproof.org/2012/04/for-your-splendor.html

"Sometimes it’s hard to grow when everybody’s watching.

To have your heart pruned by the one who knows best.

And though I’m bare and cold, I know my season’s coming.

And I’ll spring up in Your endless faithfulness."

-christy nockels 

Jesus grows us in so many amazing ways. Sometimes it is joyous and exciting and wonderful. Sometimes it is just painful. It is painful because we are inevitably human. We do not want to show imperfections or be scared. The hard things to face are just that, hard. So, we put on a show, we lie. Until, finally we see the absolute truth of God telling us that our season is coming.

The absolute truth of Christ deep in my heart is that my season is coming. 

The pruning is painful. The pruning is embarrassing. 

I am wading through mud one step at a time but I am moving. And always, I am thankful, that He loves me despite the messiness.

So all I can do in my weakness is rest on the words of a wise woman speaking the truth of Christ:

"...And some of those same folks who watched the pruning will see the blooming.

I just want you to know that I already see it happening. And others already see it, too. And if you’d look really close, not into your rear view mirror, but into His Word, I think you could even catch a glimpse of it.

You get more beautiful by the day, Darling Child. Don’t be discouraged. Don’t decide it can’t matter all that much. “For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you have shown for His name in serving the saints, as you still do.” (Hebrews 6:10) He will see to you until you are stunning for His splendor."