I grip tightly, not willing to let go. Eventually, I release it all to Him, knowing He holds it all. I feel the ease of giving my cares to Him. The God who loves me, who has a plan, the God who carries each one of my loved ones in His hands.
Then, as slowly as I released it to Him, I quickly grab it all back. My heart screams, don't take this from me God. If I hold them, I can control it. But that is not the truth. My being here, or going there, God will take care of them. He already is. I see the reaping of seeds planted long ago. Then the gentle father whispers "let them go darling daughter, let them go."
So, I let go again. I let go of the illness, I let go of their pain. I let go of worrying. They are not mine, they are His.
Psalm 121:7-8 has carried me in this season and the Lord gave it to me, to hold onto. His word is all I can hold onto, but it is enough. The promises of Revelation, of a new heaven and a new earth, are enough. For them and for me.
Thank you Jesus, for being more than enough.