Friday, June 24, 2011

I don't want the peices back...

I don't know what has gotten into my lately, but clearly I needed a blog break.

I'm back. Ready to process my thoughts on this semi public forum (which I'm not convinced anyone actually reads). I'm ready to write about love and hope and Haiti.

I've been home from Haiti for a week now.
Away from the muddy roads, big smiles and questionable smells.
Haiti was different this time. It really felt like home. Being in Haiti doesn't feel like I'm watching a movie, it just feels normal.
So many things happened last week.
Doors were opened. My heart was so full.

I've process some now and one particular thing thing is clear.
I am honored.
I am honored that God would call messy and imperfect me to Haiti.
Our last full day in Bohoc, in the middle of a team prayer I lost it.
I mean blubbering tears. Couldn't stop it if I wanted to.
I just let the tears flow. Let Jesus do His work.
To be honest, at the time I wasn't entirely sure why I was so emotional. I knew I was tired and I knew I was sad to leave. I didn't realize until I got home that the combination of sorrow and joy was the product of a girl who feels completely unworthy being told that God does not send the equipped but He equips the sent.

We were given this quote before we left Bohoc,
"Haiti will break your heart and never give you back all the pieces."
True and beautiful words.
Haiti has many pieces of my heart and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I'll go back home for them soon.

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