surrender

"I wouldn't change it for the world."

I said this a couple days ago and thought, wait. Would I?
If given the opportunity, would I change my journey to Haiti?
Absolutely not. 

I would change a few other things in my world, but not Haiti. I began thinking about all of the things that I could be doing instead of moving to a third world country. What if I got married out of college? What if I was ready for kids now? What if I was in a dream job? If any of those things were in play, the decision to move to Haiti would be entirely different. If called to Haiti in any of those situations, would I have gone? I am still fully confident that no matter what, the Lord would have put me exactly where He intended.

In all those questions though, I found grace. His perfect grace. God made this decision easy for me really. I don't have a relationship to fret over. I'm not walking away from a job that I absolutely love. Don't get me wrong, I love the life that God has given me. Leaving life here is still hard. I went through a season of agony when the Lord called me to Haiti. I fought Him. But, oh how much more I would have fought if I had anything else to hold onto.In His perfect plan he knew my tender heart well enough to give me just enough. I feel the small sacrifice, but know the gain of following Jesus is so much sweeter. 

I have also found excitement. My surrender is not the end. I have said "yes, Lord", I am all in. He knows it. I know it. Now, in surrender, the possibilities are endless. 

Haiti is where God has carried me. He knew just what to do to get me here and each step from here out, will continue to be perfectly orchestrated by our gracious Father. I wouldn't change it for the world.